Yes, another baby Shaw is on her way! We couldn't be more thrilled! Being pregnant is such a surreal time for me. I thought that with a second I would maybe lose that, but nope! I am just as much in awe that something is growing in me as with our first.
The only thing I can't stand about pregnancy is the morning sickness and I tend to be more sick than a 'average' pregnancy. When I was pregnant with Audrey, I ended up in the hospital 3 times, once over 24 hours because of the severity of my sickness. I lost 10lbs and couldn't keep water down. This lasted until about 6 months and I was even taking Zofran to help. This time around wasn't as intense, but I was pretty sick for the first couple of months. I never lost weight, but didn't gain. The hard part about being sick this time is that I have another little person that depends on me to take care of her. I was determind to mentally block out how awful I felt in order to have the strength to take care of her. I cried often. I felt like I was either neglecting Audrey or baby in some way by not focusing 100% on either one. I guess that is somewhat how it will go from now on...balancing my time with two babies that I love equally.
This pregnancy is also special because my sister is pregnant and due around the same time! It is fun to call each other and relay our hardships and perks to one another! It's like a dream come true for my mom too, she is going nuts! She has fallen in love with embroidery and is just waiting to start on about a million projects for her newest grandchildren. She is a wonderful nana! Spencer and I have decided to wait til our newest daughter is born to tell her name and this drives nana crazzzzy! hahaha! It's fun and a test for me because I tend to tell her everything whether or not I intended to or not, she has powers over me. *sorry mom you can't put her name on things til after her birthday!*
So excited that Audrey gets a sister! I loooved having a sister! 17 weeks and counting!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Venezuela
My best blogs are written in my head at night when I can't sleep, but I am too tired to get up and find the laptop or go to our desktop. It is a shame because in my head they sound so well written and the grammar and spelling are perfect. I imagine someone like Morgan Freeman narrating it. Never turns out that way when I have the time to actually write. Anyway, I will attempt to pursue my blog even with all the grammar/spelling issues. It is good therapy, and at least my mom reads it. This blog I wanted to finally share about my trip to Venezuela!
Since this is my blog, I can say anything I want, so I will tell you about the trip in terms of what happened to me personally. Just to let you know though, there are so many other great things that I witnessed God doing in the lives of the people there and on our team, but I want to share about my breakthrough.
I had mentioned in a previous blog my fears of going; I never mentioned my fears of not going. This trip was such a big decision for me. I say for me and not "us" for a reason. My husband didn't share the same fears as I, and, with him being a man and a man of our home lead him to feel differently. My fears weren't just with leaving my one-year-old daughter, it was also a fear of disobedience. I never got a sense of a 'right' or 'wrong' choice, but Satan sure made me feel that way with filling my mind with lies. I became confused with my role...either on mission or a wife and mother, because the Bible calls us all to Go and also calls us to be a witness with our roles as wives and mothers. Obviously, I had a skewed view of what that meant. I kept feeling so torn, feeling guilt for one choice or the other. Finally, with prayer and the advice from a mentor, I decided to go. After I had made the decision and the funds were in, about a week before we were to leave I got attacked major. I asked for prayer from our church family and began to see a theme show up EVERYWHERE! To pray, pray, pray and to cry out to Him with every fear! The beauty of going on a foreign trip is that it almost makes it easier to do that. I mean...it was literally all I had. I had no other comforts to put in the place of God. Yes, my husband, but this was bigger than him and he can't always offer me the comfort that my Jesus can. Let me tell you about some instances were God answered prayers for me in that 12 days.
The second we landed I turned on my phone to call home...we had traveled all night and I just wanted to check on my baby. My phone wouldn't work. I had talked to our provider on several occasions to make sure this didn't happen and it did. We had another 8 hour bus ride to our actual destination. The bus was old and full of exhaust that there was literally a haze in the cabin and it was very crowded with our team and the locals that came to greet us. It was so awful we were all coughing and hacking. The bus broke down about 5 miles away from the airport we landed in...meaning a new, better, safer bus was on the way. We had to wait 5 hours for it, but it was so much better. I slept the whole way to our hotel, which meant I didn't worry about the phone and Audrey the whole time. Since we were arriving later than planned because of the bus situation we lost our reservation. Initially, Spence and I were supposed to be separated at night because we had one single female and male on our team. Because we lost the reservations, we ended up together. Later that evening, I was able to fix my phone and call home...phone worked the whole time. Traffic laws are not obeyed there nor do they have seat belts in the backseats (I really don't know why this is) they also drive way too fast. I was always with Spencer and we only had to travel 2 hours away twice and the rest of the week we stayed within 30 min. Little, but significant things like this happened all day everyday! I honestly believe I witnessed God answer prayers for me and brought me home safely from a violent country that I'd never been to, to show me that He is in control and is sovereign. I needed to turn my fear into faith. I came home feeling like my life was literally saved. It was a miracle. I also bonded with my husband that week in ways that we may not have otherwise. I came home with a new understanding of my role as a wife, mother, and servant of Christ. I don't think I will be going on anymore foreign trips for awhile, but I am on mission here and part of that is showing His love through being a wife and mother. Foreign missions is a passion of mine, but I now know that I can go without going through prayer and hopefully once our children are grown take more opportunities. There is plenty of mission work to do in our backyards, but I am so glad I went on this one!
Oh ya...one more thing...The day we got back from our trip, I found out I was pregnant with our second daughter!
Our God is an awesome God!
Since this is my blog, I can say anything I want, so I will tell you about the trip in terms of what happened to me personally. Just to let you know though, there are so many other great things that I witnessed God doing in the lives of the people there and on our team, but I want to share about my breakthrough.
I had mentioned in a previous blog my fears of going; I never mentioned my fears of not going. This trip was such a big decision for me. I say for me and not "us" for a reason. My husband didn't share the same fears as I, and, with him being a man and a man of our home lead him to feel differently. My fears weren't just with leaving my one-year-old daughter, it was also a fear of disobedience. I never got a sense of a 'right' or 'wrong' choice, but Satan sure made me feel that way with filling my mind with lies. I became confused with my role...either on mission or a wife and mother, because the Bible calls us all to Go and also calls us to be a witness with our roles as wives and mothers. Obviously, I had a skewed view of what that meant. I kept feeling so torn, feeling guilt for one choice or the other. Finally, with prayer and the advice from a mentor, I decided to go. After I had made the decision and the funds were in, about a week before we were to leave I got attacked major. I asked for prayer from our church family and began to see a theme show up EVERYWHERE! To pray, pray, pray and to cry out to Him with every fear! The beauty of going on a foreign trip is that it almost makes it easier to do that. I mean...it was literally all I had. I had no other comforts to put in the place of God. Yes, my husband, but this was bigger than him and he can't always offer me the comfort that my Jesus can. Let me tell you about some instances were God answered prayers for me in that 12 days.
The second we landed I turned on my phone to call home...we had traveled all night and I just wanted to check on my baby. My phone wouldn't work. I had talked to our provider on several occasions to make sure this didn't happen and it did. We had another 8 hour bus ride to our actual destination. The bus was old and full of exhaust that there was literally a haze in the cabin and it was very crowded with our team and the locals that came to greet us. It was so awful we were all coughing and hacking. The bus broke down about 5 miles away from the airport we landed in...meaning a new, better, safer bus was on the way. We had to wait 5 hours for it, but it was so much better. I slept the whole way to our hotel, which meant I didn't worry about the phone and Audrey the whole time. Since we were arriving later than planned because of the bus situation we lost our reservation. Initially, Spence and I were supposed to be separated at night because we had one single female and male on our team. Because we lost the reservations, we ended up together. Later that evening, I was able to fix my phone and call home...phone worked the whole time. Traffic laws are not obeyed there nor do they have seat belts in the backseats (I really don't know why this is) they also drive way too fast. I was always with Spencer and we only had to travel 2 hours away twice and the rest of the week we stayed within 30 min. Little, but significant things like this happened all day everyday! I honestly believe I witnessed God answer prayers for me and brought me home safely from a violent country that I'd never been to, to show me that He is in control and is sovereign. I needed to turn my fear into faith. I came home feeling like my life was literally saved. It was a miracle. I also bonded with my husband that week in ways that we may not have otherwise. I came home with a new understanding of my role as a wife, mother, and servant of Christ. I don't think I will be going on anymore foreign trips for awhile, but I am on mission here and part of that is showing His love through being a wife and mother. Foreign missions is a passion of mine, but I now know that I can go without going through prayer and hopefully once our children are grown take more opportunities. There is plenty of mission work to do in our backyards, but I am so glad I went on this one!
Oh ya...one more thing...The day we got back from our trip, I found out I was pregnant with our second daughter!
Our God is an awesome God!
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